Hit 170 on practice tests today! Feeling pretty accomplished. I just need to keep practicing over the next two weeks, and then hopefully by the time comes (weekend after next) I will be prepared to knock it outta da park.

But more than that, I think what has been helpful for me about this whole process is that it has given me some kind of goal to work towards. Goals are awesome! Goals are great. From when I came down to NYC in August to a few weeks ago (when I decided to do this), I felt pretty.. aimless. Sure, I said to myself, I am looking for jobs.. but for what? What do I want? All the stuff I really wanted to sink my teeth into seemed to not be hiring or would never take me because I am under-qualified for it. So.. I drifted, I think. I think I am still drifting, on some level. But at least now, when I go to my pretty boring 9-to-6 job and come back, I know that I have something productive, useful, beneficial for me to do when I get back.. which lately has involved me spending two or three hours post-work studying and taking practice tests.

So I guess the question is how can I translate that method into both shorter- and longer-term goals. Maybe something as easy as a to-do goals list, or something like "okay self, we're going to exercise three days this week. Go!" ...but in any case, I think I need - in a post-college context something to work for. Whoah - when the hell did that happen :P

Okay love you all byee <3

Whee! Just blew $200 on LSAT registration. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

This means that I better friggin' well get my crap together, or that $200 is down the drain. Nothing motivates me more than my own tight-fistedness ;P

Thing Number One: taken from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8289147.stm

"On Saturday, a leftist group calling itself The Fire Conspiracy Cells claimed responsibility for a small bomb which exploded near Mr Karamanlis' last election rally on Friday. There were no injuries and only minor damage."

This isn't really that funny, except for the fact that Greece has a bizarre history with these sorts of teeny tiny terror cells; when I took the graduate class on terrorism last semester the professor was constantly grumbling that although his models for terrorist lethality and whatnot were excellent, they were constantly being f*cked up by these random Greek terrorist organizations with bizarre names that would release a manifesto, explode some poor bastard's car, and never be heard from again.

Thing Number Two: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_flowers

Oh those wacky Victorians. Too emotionally constipated to express their feelings of l'amour for each other, they invented a complicated and subtle "language" involving different flowers and flower arrangements to tell certain people how they felt about each other. I actually think this is really neat, and I would love to make use of it in an olde-tyme courtshippe ritual someday, but it's also a testament to Victorian nuttiness in its own right.

Apart from that, life continues apace. I am a little concerned as I have had swollen tonsils for a while now - I am hoping it will not develop into anything major, as I have no health insurance. My hope is to find cheap antibiotics somewhere. Anyone know where they might be found? I think a doctor has to prescribe them, but I don't have much money for checkups :(

Ta ta!

I don't know what I want. In any sense. :(

Is this a usual post-graduation sort of thing? I can't really tell. And how does one decide? (non-rhetorical!)

Bleh. I doubt there's an easy answer. My guess is the way that most people do it, and the way that I will do it, is to arbitrarily choose a path and go down it. That there is no easy sign, no guidepost, is I think what scares me. It thrills me too, because I am aware that I have a number of different things that I could do (and I am grateful that I have the confidence to think I could do them), but I do not want to make the wrong choice.

Maybe it's that conservative nature that's slowing me down, anyways. Into the fire, I suppose....

Since most people I know seem to have a thing about posting their dreams, I figure I should share mine - especially as I just woke up.

So in my dream, I was coming home from school. I was on one of those short school busses, because (as in real life) my house was one of the further ones out into the countryside, into the stix of Lansing where most of the poor kids/farmers lived. So it always meant that the bus was a little rowdy, and this was no exception. I remember panicking in the dream because the bus went down to the lake, circled around the neighborhood near the power plant, then started going back up the hill - only the hill was at a ridiculous angle that I couldn't believe the bus could take. Yet the bus, inside, remained perfectly level whilst the outside landscape was tilted by at least 45 degrees. In retrospect, I can blame this on my flat, flat bed.

At a certain intersection, I knew the bus was not going my way, so I stopped and told the driver I would walk. He made some pithy comment, and then let me off. Although the walk wasn't too long, maybe what would be four or five blocks in the city, or half a mile to a mile in the country, I remember this sense of ominous foreboding. The skies had become dark without me noticing, and everything was veiled in shadow. "Hm," I thought, "this is creepy." When I got to my house, both my house, the trailer park across from it (out of real life) and all the neighboring houses down the street (not real, at least never present in my childhood) were dark in the nighttime gloom, as if someone had shut off the power. I could hear faint screams in the distance, a constant running series of howls from a terrified woman. I went inside my house, where thankfully I have never felt danger, and turned on the TV (okay, I know the power's off BUT IT'S A DREAM).

The news reports were full of panicked people screaming in the streets running from.. something. As I watched, some news reporter made some comment about how things were changed forever, and we had truly made contact with another form of life. As I watched scenes of Tokyo panic, some older Japanese lady's head exploded. I slowly learned that in fact, brain slugs had come to planet Earth, intent on infesting our brains with their slugginess - when I heard someone in the house. I ran upstairs and hid under my covers.

In came a nice, cutish guy about my age. I somehow managed to convince him that I would be much better off without a brain slug implant - not in the least because the brain slugs made your head warp in some weird way, as if half of your head had a large fleshy tumorous lump or something. Then my dad and some ... woman came in, and I knew that the brain slug propaganda was all wrong and that the brain slugs did not peacefully coexist with human minds inside their heads, because otherwise Dad would not have been with this random woman, a woman cradling a sleeping baby with a giant brain slug bulge right over its eye...

Then I woke up.

Ahhh, dreams.

Hoooooo. Well, I suppose it's time for my bi-monthly update of some kind. It is a Thursday in August and I am leaving Madison shortly! This is an exciting prospect for a few reasons:

1) I get to go home and have access to people who can cook food!

2) I get to go home and find a scale and see how this summer has been fitness-wise!

3) I get to prepare to move to New York City! Whee!

4) I get to start a job hunt.. oh, wait..

I guess #4 is the only reason I'm really nervous; the job market is crap and I do wonder what kind of marketable skills I have. Kate assures me Steve and Michele could probably find some kind of grunt-level job for the Bloomberg campaign at the very worst, which sounds alright, but I don't really want to fall into the actor-schedule of weird temp jobs off and on all week. I would like to find something a little bit steady that I can proudly put on a resume as relevant to my interests.

I think it should all work out, though. My life seems to balance out, karmically, in one way or another.

There's also not more than a hint of excitement in me at the possible romantic prospects of the big apple. WOOOOoooooOOOOO massive numbers of people means surely there's one there for me? Plus, I'm going to take this as as much of an opportunity as possible to revamp my life to eat healthier, dress better, and generally make a more complete and interesting person of myself. I mean, I know I always promise that, but even if I promise every time to do that and fail miserably while making only a little progress, a little progress is better than none, right? RIIIIIGHT.

Oi, I do like the people I've met here and the stuff I've learned, but I think it's really about time to leave the Cheese State.

Today's Thai Proverb: "Sweet mouth, sour behind." Basically means that someone may talk nice when you're around, but will be nasty when your back is turned. Should I share with you all more Thai nuggets of wisdom, I wonder? Let me know.

Byeeeeee.

Sometimes... I forget how to breath.

(but I am still alive!)

Leave me a comment with "ROBOTSROBOTSLOL" in the subject line.

I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.
Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

1: If you could build a robot that would accept any programming, what would you tell it to do?

Hmmm, tricky question. I would first program it to not destroy all human life. Then I would program it to clean, and to drive me places. I know, I know, all of my love of robots is just for that? But think about it, when you don't have to clean and you don't have to worry about transportation anywhere, what more can you really ask for? Ohkay, fine, I would also have it print money. But then I think I'd just get a DS.

2: What event/accomplishment/achievement in your life are you absurdly proud of?

Lemme see... I'm absurdly proud that I actually did manage to graduate in the POS Honors Program. Some part of me kept whispering "FAAAAAIL" and for a while, I really thought I would, but I eventually managed to pull that off.. somehow.. even to the satisfaction of my teachers. Whee! I'm also pretty happy that even if I'm still not perfect now, I managed to turn my life around a lot in late high school by losing forty pounds and busting out of my shell, a process that continued somewhat until college, and involved me accepting more responsibility for my choices and learning who I am while accepting the realities of it.

3: If you had unlimited funds, what would you do?

Oh easy, I'd travel everywhere on gastronomic holidays and buy a fabulous house and stuff it with cheese and cool gadgets. This is really all I want from life.

That, and to go into SPAAAAAAACE

4: Do you REALLY <3 interpretive dance, or did you just say that to get questions?!

I love the absurdity of interpretive dance. Primarily because it's usually pretty hard to interpret.

5: What hobby/talent/skill would you really like to cultivate?

I'd love to be able to dance like a cool kid. Right now I have a self-deprecating, sorta-funny "white-and-nerdy" vibe going on; I think it'd be fun to actually learn how to seriously bust a move. That, and getting better at making new friends with random people.

Hello everybody!

I haven't made a post in a gazillion years, so I figured on some deep dark level that maybe I should. I'm a little bit nomisugita right now, so you'll forgive any spelling mistakes!

I am having a fun time learning Thai~ my teacher is acaan (pronounced ah-jahn) Sidhoon, an extremely genki little 75-year old lady from Thailand who rules the class with the tools of fun and an iron fist. Hehe. It's only been two weeks, and I can't exactly say a lot of things, but at the same time I feel like I can say a ton of stuff! For example, I know how to say "Grandma May is still drunk." Not a terribly useful sentence, but how many language students can say that after two weeks? It's not an immersive program, but it is definitely intensive, and I'm already considering how to come back next year.

Everyone here is also pretty nice; I've met a ton of people who are doing interesting things. One girl I know is studying Thai so that she can complete her thesis on Indian textiles for Thai markets; another guy is doing the program so he can do a research project on gender+Buddhism, and another guy already has two master's degrees from the UN University in Costa Rica and the University of Austria in Innsbruck (sp?) and is just taking Thai for fun. That excludes, of course, all the neat people from all the other languages. Did you know Tagalog is technically pronounced tah-gahl-ig? I sure didn't, till today. Wacky!

Of course, none of these people replace the void in my heart-area that is created by the absence of my college buddies. Elly, Christine, Holly, Victor, Debbeh, + others who don't read this WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU. Madison kinda sucks when you don't know anyone to hang out with, really. I even went to my very first gay bar today... it was kind of interesting, but despite all the progress I've made towards being social all the past four years I still can't walk up to people in a bar and introduce myself while flirting with others. Ah well, all things come in time :)

Anyways, I genuinely hope you're all well, those few of you who read this and pay attention. Ta ta!

- Fun weekend. Good job, Debbie!
- I want a cat
- I sort of wish my life could be made into a serialized comic
- If I ever live purely on my own, it will be a quiet and rather boring existence
- Sloths are cuuuuute
- Sci Fi truly does have the best Worst Movies Ever (tm), and they would have so much more success if they marketed as such
- I don't really know much about Albany, despite having spent four years here
- My life is about to change, and I don't know if it is much for the better
- I am indecisive about what to do next
- Sallie Mae is SLOOOOOOW
- Money is good, up to a point
- It's good to sometimes give in to your inner child
- Most people don't know how to write.. at all..
- Stealth gay is stealthy

Anyways, that's it for today. Ta ta!

Whee! At home for a day after bringing Ma and the first few boxes of the Not So Great Move back home. I'm still recovering from grad festivities, the enormity and energy of which have sort of managed to drain me. Either that or the three hours of driving, bleh. At this rate, I'll never handle the two day trip out to WI with any grace.

Speaking of which, the 'rents want me to take a train out. I always like trains, but I'm pushing back against this one so far since I want to use my car. I think driving would be better since I would a) get a rest in going out there by going to my stepsister's house b) I would be able to use my car in Madison, which is in the Midwest and therefore in my mind flat and wide and requires a car and c) waaaaaugh it's my carrrrrrrr and I want to use iiiittttt /whine/. But thankfully, the 'rents are not pushing it too hard (since I am now an Independent Adult Person Dude?), instead opting for the vaguely passive aggressive approach. I intend to counter by mollifying them with a promise of getting my car a trip check by a mechanic, which is not a bad idea anyways. Well, whatevs.

But anyways, until that shizzle all goes down, I have a free few weeks! Whee! I have no idea what to do with myself!

For one, I need to take the GREs, which means I can fool myself with the illusion of structure and hopefully sit down with my GRE prep book for a few hours every day/week to prepare. It would be pretty nice if I could do well... I don't know exactly what doing "well" would mean in this case, however, given that I have no idea where/when I want to apply to graduate schools. The more I think about it, the harder it all seems to be to plan.. Especially if I say, want to try and go back to Japan, which I keep talking about but not following through on.

Ah well, use the karmic principle, Brendan! It'll all work out pretty well in the end :D

In the meantime, I have to:
a) square up loans
b) square up bills
c) send off thank you notes
d) sent off postcards to foreign and domestic buddies
e) move out and negotiate with friends over furniture
f) hang out with said friends :D :D :D

Okay! I will talk to you all later. <3!

Your results:
You are Jean-Luc Picard

Jean-Luc Picard 70% Deanna Troi 70% Chekov 65% Will Riker 60% James T. Kirk (Captain) 55% Geordi LaForge 50% Spock 47% Mr. Scott 45% Uhura 45% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 45% Data 42% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 40% Mr. Sulu 35% Beverly Crusher 35% Worf 25%

A lover of Shakespeare and other fine literature. You have a decisive mind and a firm hand in dealing with others.

Click here to take the "Which Star Trek character am I?" quiz...

New Star Trek is movie is SO AWESOME.

'nuf said.

Rattle off the first 15 books you can think of that will always stick with you.

I am a super geek extraordinaire so most of these are sci-fi. Also note I'm a mad cheater coz I include whole series of books here.

1) Startide Rising - David Brin
2) The Foundation Series - Isaac Asimov
3) Empires of the Word - Nicholas Ostler (and I'm not even totally done yet)
4) The Tipping Point - Malcom Gladwell
5) Revelation Space - Alastair Reynolds
6) The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress - Robert Heinlein
7) The Harry Potter Series - J.K. Rowling
8) A Song of Ice and Fire Series - George R.R. Martin
9) Perdido Street Station - China Mieville
10) The Scar - China Mieville
11) The Years of Rice and Salt - Kim Stanley Robinson
12) The Unfolding of Language - Guy Deutscher
13) The Diamond Age - Neal Stephenson
14) The Prince - Niccholo Macchiavelli
15) Calvin & Hobbes - Bill Watterson (TOTALLY COUNTS)

What does it say about me? Unless you've read all this, it's hard to say.. I think it says that I think about the great systems that govern human interaction.. a lot of these books are inherently political - not in the governmental sense, but in the sense that politics deals with the relationship between people. Also, I clearly like thinking about the future. Any weird ones on there for y'all that read this?

Oh! And I tag anyone who reads.

Basically, my to-do list for the next week (a.k.a. I may be busy forever)

( Read more... )

Zen thought of the day: SWINE FLU IS COMING FOR US ALL

P.S. I need quizzes! What happened to the good ol' days of LJ memes? :P

Should God exist, s/he is a mathematician.

Okay, so to continue from last post....

( Read more... )

So that's good. It's nice to just have it down somewhere so that I can come back to it and be like ... "oh yeah." Plus it's a continuation of what I posted the other night. One step at a time; the current goal is very simply, graduation. So --> Back to work.

This is basically going to be a stream-of-consciousness diary sort of entry that is meant to help me figure out my brain thoughts. Feel free to ignore it.

Day one of the Guilt Trip (as we are now calling it) complete. Not too shabby, so far. Mom even said she'd do what she could to help out w/the Wisconsin thing, as a graduation present, which is really unexpected and nice. I wish I had my own funds though, I feel really bad taking help from my parents who are already in pretty dire financial straits generally. Well, I guess that's why God made Sallie Mae.

I am currently at this moment talking with Dad about future plans ...

Well, that was fun. Basically, summer = set (apart from actually applying for continuing education loans), and next year is set in that I will either be in grad school or be doing a Monbusho thing in Japan. What is not set, however, is that intervening time in between the end of this summer and the beginning of whatever I'll be doing next year. Soooo, let's see. Priorities:

1) Make some dollars. I cannot possibly continue to live on student loans, barring a mad awesome scholarship. I need to get some kind of job that will allow me to start paying off loans, as well as live comfortably. What kind of job could I get? Here're the thoughts.. 2) Keep learning. I deffos want to keep on the education, so wherever I end up I want to at least keep taking part-time classes so that I keep myself fresh and fun and the brain sharp. Wheeeeeeeee.

Cannot keep thinking, sister interruption. "WHY ARE YOU FIGURING OUT YOUR LIFE PLAN VIA BLOG" she says. Also, she says, "SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP" six times.

So Dippikill was fun. In honor of that ....

( Quiz thing )